It's not a criticism, it's an observation.
Too many choices
Mike Cox

Things used to be so simple. I could grab a bag of Cheez-Its and a Michelob, turn the TV to Keith Jackson on a September Saturday, and relax, knowing ABC would give me football without any unnecessary frills.

After the game was over, I could relax with a glass of milk and a few Oreos; the world was fine and I was in tune with it. Then everything started to get complicated. We needed more choices. At least the advertisers told us we needed more choices.

Michelob got Light. Then along came Michelob Ultra, then Ultra Amber. Now there are countless beers out there, but when you look closer, most have Anheuser-Busch or Miller in fine print on the label. We appear to have a multitude of choices, but we really are just being overwhelmed with mediocrity.

Cheez-Its now come in different flavors, shapes, and combinations. Maybe the most perfect snack food on the planet is being improved. My kids used to say if I had beer and Cheez-Its, everything else was tolerable. So who needs Cheez-It snack mix, or those twisted things that get orange goo on your fingers? If I want that, I'll buy Cheetos.

Then Oreos started fooling with the formula. Again, a near perfect snack food was changed. First Double Stuf, like we need more calories. Then chocolate covered. (These should be an illegal substance. They are just too good for human consumption.) And last week in Publix, I saw a pack of Oreos with some French on the package. I have no idea what they were supposed to be.

While these insane, mad food scientists have been fooling with our precious snacks and beverages, the sports world has evolved into a complicated, muddled mess of hi-tech driven, information overload. When ABC introduced the irritating Jim Lampley as a sideline reporter, everyone knew it was not a good thing. But no one realized it would turn into what we are now cursed with.

Every sports broadcast features all sorts of graphics; the score and important current information in one corner of the screen; a scrolling info line at the bottom telling the viewer all sorts of useless stuff. We even have a computer generated yellow line showing us where the first down is. No longer do we breathlessly await the official's measurement.

Last Monday night's Full Circle broadcast of the Miami-Florida State game featured so much information it was impossible to understand what was going on. Every one of ESPN's three hundred networks offered a different view of the game, from regular TV to Hi-Def, to six screen, geek-attracting, information overload.

A particular network even featured commentary by an ESPN radio personality, one of the idiots I spent several hundred dollars on satellite radio just to get away from. Do they think I want to listen to him?

But I couldn't find the mute button on the complicated remote and besides, there was orange goo all over my fingers. This would never have happened in the old days.