Everything has a gender
Contributed by a
reader in Lithuania

You may not know this, but many nonliving things have a gender. For example:

Ziploc Bags are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

Copiers are female, because once turned off, it

takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective

reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed,

but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

A Tire is male because it goes bald, and it's often

over inflated.

A Hot Air Balloon is male because to get it to go

anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of

course, there's the hot air part.

Sponges are female because they're soft,

squeezable, and retain water.

A Web Page is female because it's always getting

hit on.

A Subway is male because it uses the same old

lines to pick people up.

An Hourglass is female because over time the

weight shifts to the bottom.

A Hammer is male because it hasn't changed much

over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have

around.

A Remote Control is female. Ha! You thought it'd

be male, didn't you? But consider this: it gives a

man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he

doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he

keeps trying!