It's not a criticism, it's an observation.
My alternate list of amendments
Mike Cox

Political season is here. Candidates are swarming like mosquitoes. Mudslinging and innuendo dominate the landscape. The smell alone indicates election day is close.

When political office is at stake, incumbents like to elevate less important issues. This diverts attention from major concerns like the budget, health care, and security, which haven't been resolved, and focuses attention away from a candidate's record. Two such issues in this election are immigration and same sex marriage.

Unless your name is Ken White Bird, you are descended from an immigrant. Why is this issue suddenly important? And no one has explained to me how defining marriage in narrow terms will strengthen families. Both these issues are designed to inflame people, deflect attention from more important issues, and take away someone's rights.

Since I'm a decider, not a divider, here's an alternate list of amendments. I'm not running for any office; I just want to help my fellow Americans vote for something meaningful.

Thong underwear, bicycle pants, and hip hugger jeans will be banned in sizes larger than ten. Everyone wants to be fashionable, but those garments aren't designed for husky sizes. Some things are better off not being seen.

It will be a federal crime for any male over the age of 30 to wear a ponytail, backwards baseball cap, or gangsta clothes. Anyone over 20 must have written permission from his father.

No political candidate can run an ad that doesn't explain his political philosophy and tell what he plans to do if elected. He must reveal who is paying for his spot and can't mention his opponent. Any candidate who tries to scare people into voting for him must give specific facts, verified by three separate sources, to validate his claim.

Any professional athlete who second guesses his coach, criticizes his teammates in the media, is involves an anything that happens after 2 am, or refers to himself in the third person, is forbidden from participating in professional sports in any manner for five years. The ban will be reduced to two years if he works, trouble free, at a Denny's for 24 four months.

No celebrity can claim a hard life unless they endured something no one else did. Eating disorders, abusive parents, and crappy jobs are things all of us regular people deal with. No one wants to hear whining from a rich, famous person.

Anyone who stays in the left lane, lets his child run wild, or forces his beliefs on others, gets the death penalty. No one can take cell phones into public places unless involved in a life or death emergency. If that's the case, the phone must be one of those dorky bag phones from the Nineties.

Now those are amendments. No one is deprived of any rights, none will divide the voting public, and the world is a better place. Because they make sense, none of them have a chance of being on any ballot. But we can write them in. See you at the polls.

MWC423@bellsouth.net