It's not a criticism, it's an observation.
Men have no clue

Mike Cox

Initially started by greeting card companies to bridge the gap between Christmas and Mother's Day, Valentines Day has become the most pressure packed time of the year. It is an achievement test measuring men's ability to be romantic.

If you are still in a relationship February 15, you somehow managed a passing grade. Under the circumstances, that is quite an achievement. The cards are stacked against all of us.

In order to keep our species going, we must reproduce. To do that, we must get along. You would think that requires us to understand one another a little. But we are fathoms apart. Male human DNA is closer to apes than women. Everything we do, say, think, respond to, and abide by is diametrically opposed to how women feel.

It is a wonder one child was born under these circumstances; yet we are overcrowding the planet. I have to think God is the greatest practical joker of all time. This is better than Two and a Half Men.

Male mammals are programmed for quantity. Our instincts tell us to reproduce as often as possible. Females lean toward quality. The best chance their offspring have is to pick the right partner. The ladies use sight, sound, even smell to decide who has the best chance of providing Junior with genes that will last.

Instinct, brain waves, endorphins, evolutionary process, and past experience all come into play to make specific women and men attractive to each other. To feel as if we have some control in the whole mess, we call it love. There are high paid experts who give relationship advice we consider gospel truth. Yet most of our reactions are based on natural instincts wired into us eons ago. No wonder divorce lawyers make so much.

Women believe they understand men. Each one thinks she knows how a particular man will behave in a particular situation. She uses a female brain, input from female friends, and advice from Oprah and Dr. Phil, to determine how men should behave. Then she is disappointed when we react differently.

Men, on the other hand, admit to being totally in the dark about women. We just react to past experiences and try to be ready to explain our actions. We want to do the right thing, we really do; we just have no clue what that might be. Even that is an unsafe strategy; women can be inconsistent. Consider this;

From an early age, women learn to dress effectively. Shoes shape their legs, hose color them. Undergarments pull, pinch, gather, support, lift, and separate. The female medicine cabinet has bottles and cans of stuff that rivals NASA scientists. And there are strange implements that do God knows what. I know husbands who have never seen their wives without makeup. The phrase natural hair color has no meaning to a woman, regardless of age.

Yet ask any female what she most values in a relationship and every one will firmly express the same thought. Honesty. Gotta be the best practical joke ever.