Thirty- something speaks
Generation flip- flop
Mike Maddock

My feet are the coldest part of my body so they don't spend a lot of time outdoors, especially during the chillier months. My feet are also the ugliest part of my body, so it's probably a good thing they spend a fair portion of the year out of public view, hidden beneath a layer of socks and shoes. I want my tootsies warm and hibernating at least until mid- March, but that doesn't seem to be the trend these days.

It seems that flip- flops are now acceptable footwear even in the dead of winter, at least for our teenage population. Apparently Generation X, Y, and Next have given way to Generation Flip- Flop. Maybe these young minds have been inspired by the shifting positions of our politicians, or maybe they are so bought in to this global warming thing they cease to feel their frostbitten toes. Could they possibly just want to tell their future grandchildren, "When I was your age, I used to walk to school in blinding blizzards in nothing but a pair of flip- flops?" Who knows? All I know is that it makes my feet ache just looking at those poor little fashion conscious blue toes.

But who am I to judge? I wore Member's Only jackets in the summer and parachute pants in public. I just don't remember pain being a necessary part of my wardrobe, even if those parachute pants were a bit snug in all the most unfortunate places.

Women have been suffering for fashion almost since they began walking upright. The corset alone was enough to make men say, "Thank God I'm a guy!" Then women went on to don spike heels, control top panty hose, and beehive hairdos. They also fell victim to things like hot waxes and tweezing. Who knows what's coming next! Cold feet are the least of their worries, but I'm not talking about women in this flip- flop world. I didn't understand low- waisted bell- bottoms, and I'm not going to understand anything else women do to themselves, so I've quit trying. My confusion now rests with the guys.

Why would a boy want to wear flip- flops when it's 20 degrees outside? Has all this consumption of synthetic and bio-engineered food created a genetic mutation causing a generation of kids to lose feeling beneath their ankles? I don't think so.

Teenage boys are wearing flip- flops for the same reason I wore blue Chuck Taylor high tops and camouflage pants at one time, because they think it's cool. And again, who am I to judge?

I was at a high school basketball game one night still shivering from the frigid outside air even after I'd been in the gymnasium for several minutes when in strolls a teenage boy in nothing much more than a sweat shirt, a pair of jeans, and, of course, flip- flops.

While I was thinking to myself, "Are you crazy? It's 20 degrees outside!" a pack of cheerleaders ran up to this guy like he was a rock star. His feet may have been cold, but the rest of him was warming up with pompoms and hair bows. It was at that moment I understood the flip- flop phenomenon, but I still can't recall a pack of cheerleaders ever mobbing me because of my Chuck Taylor's. Maybe I should have been wearing flip- flops.