The Amazing Eurasian Odyssey
as told by characters Matthew Garrick and Stephen Williams

I hate to be stereotypical, but as what seems to be the norm in Asia, we were treated with utter disregard.

Economists and officials project that the overall Asian economy will boom, and that China will surpass the U.S. in a few decades. I say, have you ever been there? I don't think so. Every single business transaction I made since arriving in Asia in February has been terrible.

Outside of international resorts and hotel chains, customer service does not exist. It appears the buyer is being done a favor by the seller. We managed to get the information we needed from the scowling lady, and continued on our way.

Reunification Palace was next on the list. Once known as Independence Palace before a tank crashed through the gates during the fall of Saigon in April 1975 (subsequently marking the end of the war), this building held the office of the President of South Vietnam.

It was huge and seemed splendorous, but either it was closed to the public, or we arrived too late, as the gates were firmly locked.

Around a few corners was Notre Dame Cathedral, a Catholic church built in the 18th century. A statue of the Virgin Mary stands amicably out front.

Catholicism is the second most prevalent religion in Vietnam, which trails far behind the 92 percent who consider themselves Buddhists.

Adolescents ran and played in the church gardens, and some attempted to generate pocket change by selling bubblegum to the tourists.

We made our way toward the riverfront, as Ho Chi Minh City sits on the Mekong River Delta. It was night now, and the neon lights across the river reflected brightly in the churning waters.

We managed to get ourselves lost while looking for the camera district. (There are usually districts in larger cities, where a whole street will be nothing but pet stores, or restaurants or camera shops). Not finding a satisfactory price or selection, we decided it was getting late and we should head back to the hotel.

However, we stumbled upon what seemed like a great party. No, perhaps a grand opening of a huge electronics store? I took it as a sign from above, entered the store and settled on a classic, trusty Nikon. Afterward, I felt like crying because the camera alone cost about two times more than the entire trip had up to this point.

We found our way back to the hostel and went to sleep, only to rise mere hours later to be whisked away by bus to the Cu Chi tunnels, an immense series of tunnels outside the city.

These were used by the National Front for the Liberation of South Vietnam (better known as the Viet Cong) to move soldiers and supplies while engaging American and South Vietnamese troops in guerilla warfare. These also served as the base of operations for the Tet Offensive in 1968.

Despite being widened for the typically larger frame of Westerners, these tunnels still guaranteed a claustrophobic experience. Those things were tiny, and I can't imagine how some soldiers lived in tunnels like these for years at a time.

We also saw one of the famous trap doors in action, and I have to say that when it was closed, one really couldn't tell that a tunnel existed below. I can imagine how devastating it could have been to patrolling soldiers to be attacked by an enemy that vanished just as quickly as he had appeared only moments earlier.

As the obvious cash cow of the enterprise, a firing range on the grounds offered bullets at over- inflated pric-es and the opportunity to shoot mounted guns from the era. It is always funny to watch Europeans flock to things like this, as most are thrilled at the mere prospect of shooting a gun.

Matthew joked that if the guns had not been mounted, one would likely see plenty of dislocated shoulders on the Euros who haphazardly hold the guns in the most awkward, incorrect ways.

At the gift shop, we had our first encounter with a Vietnamese specialty called snake wine. A cobra is immersed in rice wine and fermented for months or years. It is said to have medicinal properties. De-pending on the potency desired, the wine can also contain scorpions (usually dangling from the snake's mouth), lizards and sometimes birds.

We headed to the train station. Rather than going directly to Hanoi (about a 30- hour ride), we decided to stop halfway at a little place. Perhaps some of you older folks remember it if you kept abreast of events during the war; it's called Da Nang.