I now pronounce you... TOTALLY EXHAUSTED!
By Anne-Kathryn Bultman Anne@TheColumbiStar.com

Girl knows many of the people invited to the wedding have children. Some of the children have been invited, but the majority of them have not and should not be. It's like being at the movies or in the grocery store- when you hear a screaming kid or see one misbehaving you want the parent to remove them immediately. Girl feels the same way about her wedding.

Before the ceremony starts, a newborn baby is sleeping quietly in his or her mother's arms. The organ and trumpet sound out, and baby begins to sing. And of course, the mother is in the middle of the church in the

middle of the row. "Excuse

me, sorry, sorry..." while stepping all over people's feet and purses.

Then there are the toddlers. They may not be frightened by the loud music, but they surely don't have any interests in watching two people they don't know get married. The parents bring a gigantic bag of toys to occupy the toddlers' time, but that never works. They're either hungry or sleepy or really uncomfortable in the little sear- sucker suit that looked way cuter on the hanger.

Girl has eliminated this problem by refusing to have a ring bearer and flower girl, but what about the other kids?

Girl decideds to provide a nursery and one or two nursery volunteers and instructs her ushers to direct the proud parents to it.

Now, there are some kids Girl has invited, but they will be easy to spot. They aren't newborns, wrapped in a pink or blue blanket, sucking on a bottle, or making cute baby noises. They know the rules of etiquette because their parents have actually taught them.

Girl knows this may seem harsh, but no child has the right to spoil the dream of a lifetime and her father and mother's hard earned money.