I now pronounce you... TOTALLY EXHAUSTED!
By Anne-Kathryn Bultman Anne@TheColumbiaStar.com

Girl can't wait until the big day is finally here because she's sick and tired of planning a wedding.

The details that seemed important to Girl several months ago have become tedious annoyances that she wishes her wedding fairy, her mother, would take care of.

At this point, Girl doesn't care what the flowers look like. She just wants the florist to read her mind, put them in a beautiful vase, and bring them to the reception site. Girl doesn't want to try her wedding dress on for the hundredth time to make sure it fits just right. Girl wants the seamstress to magically know what size she is and hem and tuck the dress accordingly.

Girl is tired of worrying she won't be able to find a dress to wear to the rehearsal dinner, and life would be easier if the stores would call her when they saw a dress that looked perfect for the evening.

Girl had no idea finding the Holy Grail would be easier than finding unscented candles. Girl doesn't want her guests to leave the reception early because of a vanilla bean candle headache.

Girl just can't take talking about what needs to get done. She just wants to blink her eyes or twitch her nose and have everything finished.

When Girl tries to talk to Boy about everything she has to do, he turns the volume on the TV up even louder. Boy got sick of the wedding planning a long time ago, and Girl doesn't know why she wastes her time telling Boy anything.

Even though Girl wants the wedding to be over and done with, she's worried about how she will feel when it's over. What will she do? Planning the wedding has consumed over a year of her life, and it will be over in a few hours.

Girl thinks about cutting her losses and eloping, which was Boy's suggestion after week two of the engagement. But Girl realizes eloping would be a bad idea because that would involve a whole new list of things to do.