Thirty-something speaks
Priorities change as ear hair grows
Mike Maddock

When I was growing up my dad once said, "If you see me in black socks and sandals on the beach one day, shoot me."

Years later, after I was grown and he was a granddad, he changed his tune a little and said, "If you see me in black socks and sandals on the beach, pat me on the back and congratulate me, because you'll know I've made it and I just don't give a darn anymore."

Growing older changes one's perspective on life and shifts our priorities. God doesn't give us freakishly long hair on our ears and in our nose when we're teenagers because He knows we can't handle it. The crackling voice, awkward bodies, and zits were enough back then. Such oddly placed hairs aren't so troublesome these days. Other things may be, but a lot aren't.

I used to think going to bed early was just about the worst thing on earth. I missed countless episodes of Charlie's Angels, and who knows what else because I had to be in bed by 8 o'clock. Now, I'd consider giving up my nose hair trimmers just for one early night. Sleep used to be the flat tire on my drive through life, now it's like the Holy Grail. I want it so badly, but I just can't seem to find it. I once made fun of people who turned in before prime time television got going; now I envy them.

Needless to say my whole outlook on weekends has changed too as the years speed by.

Not long ago, the end of the week meant something entirely different to me. Now a wild night in my house consists of a take- out order of spicy Kung pao chicken and back- to- back episodes of Meerkat Manor. I don't think about happy hours, but it does make me happy if I can catch up on some sleep and yard work.

I don't know at exactly what point in my life mowing the grass switched from chore to therapy, but I do know now that I'm a little older a good night's sleep followed by a day in the yard beats a smoky bar followed by a hangover any day. There's enough natural pain associated with age without adding artificially induced headaches and nausea.

Age is a beautiful thing especially if thinning hair, a flabby stomach, and long thick eyebrows turns you on.

Despite my evolving appearance, the things that were important to me as a youth seem a little silly now. Back then my clothes had to be in style, now I'm happy if I can just get the button on my pants snapped without shooting it halfway across the bedroom. Back then I had to brush my hair just so, now I'm happy just to have hair to brush.

I used to dream of a turbo Porsche 911 with a T- top and manual drive, now my reality is a slightly- used minivan with multiple strange odors, and I couldn't live without it.

Life and how we view it changes as much as our faces. As the wrinkles grow, the perspective and priorities grow different. I'm not ready to wear black socks and sandals just yet, but I'm looking forward to the day when I can.