Canine Americans visit the vet
By John Dixon
Today's installment of Canine Wisdom is centers on the Canine Americans' annual pilgrimage to the vet, which is not a favored pursuit but does have its perks. First of all, both dogs love Dr. Roof and Dr. Branson and greet them as old friends every time we go. Secondly, as the vet's office is located in Blythewood, and we are not, the Poo and the Chi enjoy a protracted ride, and they both agree, that is a real treat. But alas, the joy ends here and the games begin.

Itchy Bums and Stinky Ears Let us begin with the reason for the visit. The Poo, having hang down ears, has problems with "ear junk" because his ears do not drain properly. The result is quite malodorous. He is constantly puling at his ears and shaking his head, which sends foul- smelling material flying around the surrounding area. Both dogs have developed an allergy to some unknown substance in our house and have chewed and scratched themselves bloody. So off to the vet we went.

Scoping out the escape routes As soon as the Canine Americans cross the threshhold of the Vet's office they search for escape routes. They climb over the human holding them seeking the quickest route to the floor and out the door. But we are wise to their ways and the humans prevail. They remain subdued until they reach the examination room at which point the Poo hits the floor running and checks the doors and windows for a likely escape route. Of course, he is not successful and the Chi, being more stoic, simply nests in the nearest lap and awaits her fate.

The Poo

Sweaty Palms and Portly Pooches I know it's not polite to discuss a lady's weight, but the Chi is what you might call generously proportioned. The Poo is no lightweight either, but most of his is muscle. They sit in our laps and pant while waiting to be weighed and examined. The Chi manages to maintain her composure, but the Poo sweats profusely and leaves sweaty paw prints on whatever he touches. Both are given meds, which isn't too bad because they get their pills wrapped in some variety of meat or smothered in peanut butter, which they both gobble down with gusto. We will not talk about the eardrops though because that's another story.

Stink- eye squared In addition to the oral antibiotics the vet prescribed (horror of horrors) a weekly bath in medicated shampoo to remedy the itchy bum problem. Although Doctor Roof endeavored to convince Poo he was bred to be a water dog with prowess second only to Labrador retrievers, he remains unconvinced that bathing is a positive thing. As soon as we get to the door at home both dogs went into the sink where they were subjected to the greatest of all indignities a 15 minute medicated bath. Do you know what we received for our efforts? You guessed it! Stink eye squared.

Both dogs are feeling much better these days and are relieved to know they will not return to the vet until next fall for their annual exercise in canine- human relations. Until then we all wonder…

Will the Chi join Jenny Craig? Will the Poo remain free of ear rot, get back to his roots as a French Water Dog and quit complaining about his newly prescribed baths?