Thirty-something speaks
Hurry up and wait
Mike Maddock

I've spent entirely too much time in hospitals, emergency rooms, and doctors' offices the past eight months. One thing I've learned over the course of all these visits is that shows like ER and Grey's Anatomy are pretty much complete fiction. Of course, I'm saying this from the perspective of a son, a father, and sometimes, a patient, so my experience with these places has not been so much romance, excitement, and beautiful doctors as it has been sitting and waiting…and sitting and waiting some more.

After entering the hospital, I go to this room and wait, then I go to that room and wait. I venture down to another room and wait, then go back to the second room and wait some more. The medical profession is the only business in the world that can get away with this much inactivity (with the possible exception of the cable television repair industry).

Hollywood doesn't show that part on Thursday nights. In fact, many of the patients, friends, and families fed up with all the waiting are portrayed on these shows as pests and distractions to those dreamy doctors and nurses. I understand my thumbing through a year- old copy of

Us magazine in Room B6 of some hospital isn't exactly a ratings bonanza, but it sure is reality.

Hurry up and wait. I think it's part of the Hippocratic oath. We rush to the emergency room only to stop for several rounds of paperwork and then wait four hours for someone to give my kid with the abhorrently high fever a dose of Motrin…the same kind of Motrin in my bathroom cabinet at home.

It's not that I don't appreciate my friends in the world of medicine. In my house of three children it's God, Country, and Pediatrician. I just wish doctors gave bulk rate discounts for multiple children and multiple illnesses or frequent flyer miles for every visit. They could just give every third bottle of Augmentin away free. Then all the waiting wouldn't be so bad.

The Grand Strand Regional Medical Center was my home for much of last summer. After my dad's illness, I learned hospitals, no matter how small or close to the beach, have waiting rooms for every occasion. There's the sign- in waiting room, various waiting rooms for all types of out- patient procedures, surgical waiting rooms, intensive care waiting rooms, and even visitation waiting rooms. With all those waiting rooms, it's a wonder there's enough space for operating tables and X- ray machines. Waiting is as much a part of the medical world as penicillin.

I'm sure there's a good reason for it. As I get older, and visits to the doctor become a more regular part of my daily routine, I'm just worried that I may spend more time in waiting rooms than I do at home. If I have to spend another moment in an emergency room any time soon, then that may already be the case.

Maybe the reality is that shows like ER and Grey's Anatomy are actually true. Maybe all the waiting is because a multitude of beautiful medical professionals like McDreamy and Meredith are spending an inordinate amount of time working on their relationships. They simply don't have time to stick their heads in the office and prescribe some antibiotics. It makes for good drama, but I'd rather watch it Thursday night and not wait for it to unfold while I'm stuck with the year- old Us magazine in a 10- foot by 8- foot room.