It's not a criticism, it's an observation.
Getting into Heaven
Mike Cox

In the climactic scene from The Vikings, a dying one- eyed Kirk Douglas struggles to get a hand on his sword so he can go to Valhalla, the Norse version of Heaven. He has been mortally wounded by his one- armed half brother Tony Curtis, in a monumental upset.

Getting to Heaven was easy back then, at least for men. There was no mention of what women had to do to punch a ticket to Valhalla. Could be they weren't allowed. Maybe that's what made it the Promised Land.

These days salvation is more complicated. There are countless religions on the planet, and most of them have a path to Everlasting Life, each one claiming theirs is the one true way.

Catholics just had a few miles added to their path of gold. The good folks in Rome have decided those who want to get into Heaven now must refrain from "violations of the basic rights of human nature." These include polluting, genetic engineering, taking drugs, abortion, pedophilia, causing social injustice, and being obscenely wealthy.

Vatican City seems to be updating the rules so no one unworthy sneaks into Heaven on a technicality, but they may have raised some questions. Polluting, causing social injustice, and genetic engineering are sins usually associated with large corporations and governments. Does this mean Bosnia and Exxon might sneak through the Holy Gates if they say enough Hail Marys? Wouldn't that ruin the neighborhood? large

Does the Pope decide which drugs are acceptable? Viagra and cigarettes are legal, but are they moral? Putting pedophilia on the list seems redundant. It's already illegal and frowned on by almost everyone. It's interesting shielding pedophiles and paying off their victims isn't a sin. And you have to wonder what obscenely wealthy is. Probably about two dollars more than the Vatican is worth.

But they had to do something; the original mortal sins don't scare people these days. Lust, envy, greed, and anger are the cornerstones of reality television and make up the daily to do list for most politicians.

Power of Pride bumper stickers adorn half the cars on the highway, and you only have to visit the all- you- can- eat buffet at Shoney's to see gluttony on display. I didn't even know what sloth meant until I looked it up.

Protestants, Jews, Taoists, Hindus, Muslims, and various other religious practitioners aren't worried. They have different and varied ways to get everlasting life; some simple, some more complicated.

It makes you wonder which one is right. If Constantine had not become emperor of the Roman Empire and converted to Christianity, there would be considerable fewer Christians. And if the printing press hadn't just been invented and Henry VIII didn't want a divorce, no one would have heard from Martin Luther, and the Reformation might not have happened.

How would these events have changed the way most of us worship? Would we all be trying to figure out the many stages of eternal life and worshiping cows? Or maybe arguing about how to achieve Nirvana. It's a lot simpler being an Evangelical. All you have to do is believe in Jesus; and vote Republican.