A Traveler's Travail
By Jackie Perrone jacper@juno.com

Listen my children and you
shall hear
A saga of travel, excitement,
and fear.
A tale of a seasoned traveler
who stumbled
And a myth of persistent
claims which crumbled.
The tourist is Jackie, an
organized female
With legendary attention to
detail.
She dots the i's and remembers
the faces;
Keeps up with the maps, the
dates, and the places.
A festive birthday in France
will be great;
Where better than Paris to
celebrate?
The family will gather to
toast the affair
As soon as all are assembled
there.
One suitcase, on wheels, and
tote- bag in hand,
She blithely sets forth for
overseas land.
Arrangements are made for
the shuttle- bus seat,
Hotels, plane tickets, and
schedules complete.
Columbia to Newark, a shuttle
to JFK ,
Approaching the end of an
ideal day,
Air France and Delta have
things well in hand,
But wait: A detail they don't
understand.
"This passport: do you have
an extension?"
"Well, No." I'm not sure I

have comprehension.
Somehow, the unthinkable
has transpired;
This 10- year- old passport
has EXPIRED.
Guess what? If this paper is
not up to date
You're not going anywhere,
early or late.
Faster than tout de suite, I'm
off the plane
Alone and forlorn, and facing
the pain.
There are ways to beat it, you
just have to learn
How to arrange it, and where
to turn.
# 1 Delta : "We'll bring you
your bag,
Wait at the service desk;
there'll be a slight lag."
#2 Delta: "There's a passport
office downtown,
"They'll fix up a new one if
you go around."
"You'll have to start early, be
first one in line,
A new passport can be yours
and things will be fine."
#1 Air France: "You'll need a
seat for tomorrow night,
It's already overbooked, but
we'll get you on that flight."
So far so good, but I must
make a call,
Get out the news, I'm not on
this plane after all.
#3 Delta: "Just tell me the
number, I'll put the call
through,"
And two minutes later, that's
what I can do.
Retrieved bag in hand - (now
how did they do it?)
I'm headed downstairs, continuing
to pursue it.
A hotel room's needed, I
must make the change,
As close to the Passport
Office as I can arrange.
Now figure: how to manage a
trip into town?
Oh look! There's a desk
called "Transportation:
Ground!"
I make my way to Ground
Transportation
It seems there's a shuttle just
leaving the station.
Two hours later, I find the
hotel
The coffee shop's open, so all
is well.
A tired cook at the end of his
shift,
Displays understanding, and
gives me a lift.
A quickie omelet fills a need,
The hotel bed is welcome
indeed.
Reality arrives along with the
dawn,
There's no time to waste if
I'm to go on.
7:30 am., I'm first at the gate
At Passport Office, no time to
be late.
They set a time for my return
With PHOTO in hand!!???
Now how is THAT done?
The passport folks have done
this before,
"Get your picture made at
the café next door."
Along with the photo, I welcome
some lunch,
As I wait for the schedule to
move into Crunch.
Back to PO, for papers to

sign
At last! An agent whose time
will be mine.
"We can have this for you by
four today."
But I have to protest: "Hey,
"You have to do better than
that.
I'm due at the airport at 4
o'clock flat!"
With a smile and a wink, he
nods his assent,
"I'll walk it through for you,
just give me a minute."
The minutes are 90, time is
slipping away.
By 2 pm, passport is in hand
- hooray!
The next-door café seems a
good place to say,
"Is there an easy way to get
to JFK?"
The guffaw is hearty; the
answer is "NO!"
A cab is the only way to go.
Forty bucks later, I'm at JFK
Delta remembers my stressful
day.
"Another phone call?" they
quickly say,
Report to my family: "I'm
on my way."
I'm boarding the plane, passport
a- waving,
When Delta announces significant
saving:
"This plane's overbooked.
Here's an offer that's fair:
Six hundred dollars, and a
ticket anywhere!
All you have to do is get off
this flight,
And agree to travel tomorrow
night."

Temptation indeed!, that I
won't give in to…
Those waiting in Paris might
take a dim view
Of my volunteering to step
aside,
After what I went through to
get this ride.

THE HAPPY ENDING:

Happy landings in Paris;
"Bonjour: that's Good Day!"
Our family vacation is at last
under way.